"And now, a word from our sponsor.

With low interest rates, now is the perfect time to buy a home. Just name your amenity! Every house in Night Vale has a luxurious view of the void. We also have great schools and plenty of spiders! Who wouldn’t want to settle down in Night Vale? Seek a licensed realtor to help you find the house of your dreams. Realtors live inside deer. When you find an undersized stag or ailing doe you can catch, simply wrestle it down and knife open the chest cavity. Then let the realtor inside help you achieve your American dream. The head of the Greater Night Vale Realty Association, Russell Swenson, says, ‘No one has lived here for years. You’re one of them. One of the no ones. A woman is a fire, and no one is invited. Anyone can watch. No one can help.’

Hey, Dana? Is this a poem Russell wrote for us, or…

Ahem. So, start looking today for your new Night Vale home. As the old saying goes, streets swallow their own tails and choke."



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